Nothing to fear.

The day after Thanksgiving I went to the ER for a high blood sugar reading. Patiently waiting on insulin or an IV, suddenly I was hit with the news that my blood work said that I was pregnant. Having already accepted the fact that maybe I would never have any children, I had already came to terms with the idea. This was not only a shock to me but also to my family. We had all thought I was not able to bear a child. Here I am at 29 years old and I am expecting my first child. I am terrified. Not because of the pregnancy, but on 11/27/09 I was already 14 weeks in. my whole first trimester gone and I had no Idea I was even Pregnant. No prenatal care, bad management of my type 2 diabetes not to mention I was drinking and smoking. I was horribly tormented by guilt and fear that I would miscarry or that my baby was in serious danger.

My first doctors appointment put me at ease. I got an ultrasound of a very happy baby and healthy baby. I was so relived. Now I am 17 weeks and taking it one good step at a time doing what is right and making better choices not only for me but for the baby.

I am a little embarassed though. I have cousins a little younger than me that have children school age. I feel like I am behind the pack or something.