Author Archives: Ms. Dee

I am a wife and a mother of two, certified life coach, passionate about all things lifestyle, planning, and beauty related. I also love to motivate others. I love to share wisdom that I have learned through the years about life, and self awareness. I look forward to sharing my experience and tips with you as well as my life and we can take this journey together. My motto is "Live like there is no tomorrow." Together we can make that happen.

5 Self care techniques that can help your anxiety

 

   Some anxiety can be really debilitating. I know because I am living with anxiety. Some days, just getting out of bed is a struggle. I also have clinical depression and both of these conditions together really make daily life a struggle. With two kids and a household to manage, I don’t have time to wallow in my mental setbacks. I have learned a few coping techniques and I want to share them with you so that maybe you can use these techniques to push through as well.

1.) Breathe.

  Studies have shown that the simple act of deep breathing helps to relieve anxiety. Fresh oxygen to the brain helps to give your thinking processes good fuel. Sometimes that’s all it takes. So just breathe deep and slow. Everything is going to work out for your good.

2.) Bathing and showering

  I remember when I was younger and my grandmother would say “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” Well, that’s almost true. The simple act of bathing is symbolic of “washing off the day”. It gives you a metaphorical clean slate. Just like every day is a new beginning, So goes a good shower or bath. So wash the day off and start over.

3.) Clean your personal space

  This is another “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” thing. Removing the trash, junk, and clutter around you lends itself to a feeling of having it all together. The act of removing clutter from your personal space also removes clutter from your mind. You also reap the benefits of having a clean and organized space.

4.) Journal

  There are many ways that journals helps your anxiety and mental health. Journaling is a way of weeding through your thoughts and emotions. Having them on paper gives you time to really examine what and how your anxiety is triggered, therefore helping you to cope better in those situations. Not to mention it is a great therapy tool.

5.) schedules and routines

  Having a set schedule and routine is also a great way to combat anxiety. I have routines for everything and every moment of my day is planned out including my leisure time. I know this sounds like a lot but it works for me. Having a schedule keeps me focused and having a routine keeps me on task. I know what I am supposed to be doing and when I am supposed to be doing it. I just re-center myself when I get lost. I also take advantage of decorative planning. This helps me to use my creativity as a coping mechanism.

My life is not perfect by any means but having this five techniques in place already in my life has helped me to battle anxiety and depression greatly. I hope that they can help you too. Feel free to come back and visit my blog for more tips and links to great help and advice. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss a post. Remember to live every day like there is no tomorrow.

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My Plan for the new year

I must be honest and share my story. When I was a child, I watched my parents move on with their life. They really weren’t there for me they didn’t raise me, my grandparents raised me, well my grandparents and my aunts. I’ve never seen a real relationship growing up and because of that. I tell my kids I love you all the time. you don’t realize as an adult, it’s more about showing that you love him instead of just saying that you love them. Occasionally, would hear someone say I love you. Then I wouldn’t see them for 6 to 8 months at a time. I never feel compassion respect or real genuine love from that person that would always say I love you.

Now raising two kids of my own I found myself going into the same pattern as my parents. Most of the time, my kids, I’ll leave them up to their own devices and I feel like that’s a bad way to be, but at the same time I watch them discover so much about themselves and the world around.  I feel better when I realize what knowledge they gain by letting them wonder just a little.

I’m also surprised at what knowledge I’ve gained by wandering myself. Wandering a little in the world, just a little in my own mind and by Taking Chances on things that I wouldn’t take a chance on before. I watch my kids how courageous they are in life and I envy them and at the same time I’m so proud. I’m not as courageous as they are. I have no idea where they get their coverage from. It could be from just Shear innocence, but they make me think a lot. They make me think about what I want to do in life. they make me think about where I want to go, what I want to be. Now mind you, I’m almost in my forties. My kids are 8 years old and 2 years old and I think God has a unique way of putting things in my life at the right time, so he can steer us in the right direction.

I believe having my children as late in life as I did is now the force that is pushing me to do something greater with my own life. I’m not just living for my kids I’m now living for me. I know that finding me will give them a better perspective of who they are. The more confidence I build in myself, the more confidence I can build in my kids.

I love my children very much and I want them to be confident and stable adults. I want them to be conscious of Their Own self and of their own well-being.

A lot of times in my life I’ve tended to accept the bad behavior of others as if it was something that I deserved or something that I never expected. Now gaining a deeper introspective myself and getting to know myself a whole lot better, I realize that I no longer require anyone’s acceptance. I will not tolerate anyone bad behavior. so, the thing is if I hold myself to high standards why not hold everyone else to those same standards.

I don’t accept bad behavior from my children. I don’t respect that behavior from my spouse, so why should I let Outsiders give me that same Behavior. going into 2019, I no longer accept anyone’s bad behavior. I no longer accept anyone else’s crosses to bear. I no longer accept not being respected. I no longer accept not being on the level that I should be.

I’m gaining a new love for myself, and you loving me is no longer a requirement. I have to say no to what’s not healthy for me. Hopefully you move forward in 2019 with the same mantra. What is not healthy for me does not belong to me. It does not belong with me. I will not carry it in my bag. I will not carry it in my mind. I will not carry it in my heart. I will only carry what is healthy for me. Happy New Year everyone

Getting out of the Holiday blues

For years I hated the holidays. I’ve always seen the holidays time as full of hurt, and a lot of headache. I have a huge family and I love my family very much. But over the years I’ve tended to separate myself from some of my family because of their negativity and attitudes.

This year I decided to go at the holidays alone and to my surprise I didn’t contract holiday Blues this year. I’ve been spending way more time with my kids. Who’s hilarious, by the way. My kids help to keep me grounded. Sometimes I think if I didn’t have my kids I wouldn’t be as much fun.

So this Thanksgiving, my family and I had Thanksgiving here at home. I cooked all the traditional Thanksgiving food that I love to cook for my family each year. We ate, we talked, we drank, and repeated until we all passed out for the night. I must say it was the most fun that I’ve had with my little family here, my husband, my two kids and his brother who currently lives with us.

There was no drama, no fussing, no stress. And this is how I would like every holiday to go but unfortunately I know it won’t be so, or can it be?

I’ve been working on the rest of the Holiday season and how I would like for it to go. Remember, plans will always change. Leave room for the unexpected. I have delegated certain tasks so that I’m not overwhelmed. Done is always better than perfect.

I’ve opted out of heavy decor this year. I have two little monsters that I will keep busy by letting them make the decorations (that I have strategically located online) and put up the tree. Michael’s craft store has been a real time saver for all of the decor and crafts for kids.

Finally, my menu is simple. Minimum leftovers predicted. I’ll have plenty of time to mingle and celebrate. I’ve also gotten plenty of disposable dishes and pans. Minimum cleaning predicted also. This planning didn’t take long and wasn’t complicated. Mostly clever and common sense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of all this before.

I realized that most of my stress and anxiety associated with the holidays is caused by my constant pursuit of perfection. I’ve been chasing a ghost. Perfection does not exist. I don’t have to impress my family. They could care less about the decorations or our outfits for that matter. They’re just happy to celebrate with us and that is just what the holidays are about. Family.

I wish each and every one of you a happy, safe and blessed holiday season. I hope to see you all in 2019.

Happy holidays!

Blogging with Babies

Getting it all done

I’m a wife and a mother of 2 beautiful monsters a little boy named CJ (8yrs. Old) and a little girl name Gwendolyn (2yrs. Old). Working full time and having such a huge presence across social media is a real stretch of my time to say the least. But I find time to do what I love. I love being a mother, and I love being a blogger. The best way that I could bring these 2 worlds together is to blog about with my babies.

I have a strict schedule because I work full time outside of the home, I have a blog, a podcast, a YouTube channel and a life coaching practice. All of which, produce some type of income every month. It’s a daunting task to manage it all, but I get it done and I don’t quit.

  1. I keep a time blocking schedule.

You can find lots of information about this topic online butbasically I block out time during the day for tasks or appointments that I needto keep. I keep a social media calendar just like I will keep my work calendarbecause social media is my work and my children are my work so both of thesethings are scheduled on of my own my planner. I also scheduled me time sleepand personal care.

2. I have daily routines

Routines will be your absolute lifesaver when it comes tomanaging your business, your social media and your family.  Once you develop a daily routine, All of thethings that you have to do on a daily basis becomes very fluid.

3. I delegate

I have really become a master at this one. If it’s somethingthat needs to get done and I know that someone else can do it just as good as Iwould I delegate that task. Done is always better than perfect.

4. I take time for myself

Some down time is very necessary for you to wind down andrecharge. If you don’t give yourself breaks you won’t be very productive atall. So, stop, catch your breath, drink some water, and then get back in there

5. Don’t cram it all into one day

Rome wasn’t built in a day and you are no Hogwarts’s Alumni.There is no magic spell that can make it all get magically done or magically goaway. Take your time and spread things out. It’s better to focus on one at atime.

6. Take one day off or maybe two

Like I said before, you need to get some type of rest inorder to be creative and productive.

7. Start early

Your brain is more productive and creative first thing in the morning. After your morning routine, self-care, and a hot cup of coffee or tea, get cracking. Tackle the big stuff first and you will breeze through the rest of the day.

I hope that these tips will help you to win your days and inevitably win your life.

The Power of the Black Woman

Black power is something that has been feared for thousands of years. Our families were separated and our men scorned in front of us to break our power as a family unit. It has been known for many generations that we are stronger and safer in numbers. Ever since slavery, we’ve been given the paradigm that we are weak, not intelligent, and not worth our own investment in ourselves. 

It has been a challenge to break past all of the slavery teachings. Still today, we have a lot of black people living with that same ignorant slave mentality and don’t want to change or learn. These are the people who suffer the most, the ones who won’t change and the ones who won’t learn. Life is really passing them at a faster rate than those of us who know the truth. 

You have to be able to learn, un-learn, and re-learn in order to survive in the world today. Life is more than Instagram, snap-chat, Facebook and reality TV.

We as black women are seen as the most preyed upon, easily influenced, mentally weakest part of the human race. I think it’s time that we take back our power. Its time we show the world that we are more than the foolish behavior of a love and hip hop reunion show. It’s time we show the world that we are more than our hips and our hair.

We have a duty to the generations of young black women behind us to make an impact, to make a stand, to make a difference. It all starts with a choice. A choice to be dignified, graceful, kind, smart, well spoken, well read. It is our choice to be on exhibition or to exude excellence. Which one will you choose? 

Do I finally have planner of peace?

So recently I took a trip to Michael’s craft store. I was looking for a classic size happy planner and what I found was that the happy planner section was sparse. There wasn’t much to choose from and the little bit with that was there was really picked through. So, what I decided to do was go ahead and get the student planner box kit which was classic size. The box kit came with a few accessories and some paper. So, after getting the student box kit, I started to look around the section. I’ve really wanted a hard cover for a long time and they just happen to have one black classic size hardcover there. So, I went ahead and grabbed it along with the classic size hardcover. I got 2 more packs of accessories that came with a folder and some happy planner papers and I got a few more sticker books which happened to be 50% off. 
So, after getting home and looking at all my planner goodies, I was wondering to myself did I really want what I had because I was looking for something specific, but I didn’t know that what I really needed was in my hands. So, after opening everything and looking at everything all spread out on my desk, I just went to town hooking up my new Classic size Happy planner.
There are few reasons why I was so excited about it. The classic size student planner has a vertical layout, but it has 7 different sections that are color coded. This week’s color is blue, but the opposite of the sections is you white. That excited me because I’ve never seen it like that. There were no lines on the weekly pages to give me a certain domain of where I could start and stop planning and that’s what I love. I just want my days separated I don’t want the individual day separated. So, that’s what drew me to the student planner as well as the very clean fresh layout that it had. 
Right off the back I fell in love with this hard cover.
It’s a plain black hard cover and it’s a cover that I had been looking for, for a while. I just wanted something sleek and I didn’t want a chubby happy planner this time. That is what overwhelmed me with every other happy planner I had. I had been trying to live up to the expectation of social media with a thick, chubby happy planner that was too overwhelming for me. That’s what made me put down the happy planner so much.
As I opened my happy planner, I’m started off with a folder which is what I like I like a folder and by the way the cover that came on the happy planner it is removed I’m just only using the plain black hard cover for my happy planner. I’ve laid it out in a way that is convenient for me. So, I started off with a folder and of course there is 2018-2019 full calendar on 2 pages in the front, which is fine for me. Then, there’s a course contacts page and there was a classes page. I took out the page where you write down your classes because I’m not in school I don’t have any classes, so I didn’t have any need for that page.  
What I did do, on the opposite side of the 2019 calendar, was I printed the calendar for my son school. So, I could have his calendar right in the front of my planner.  I have it printed out on Happy planner paper. I’ve got so many accessory packs. I had so much paper that I was like “I have to utilize this paper” so, I printed out his schedule on a paper and I put it on the back of 2019 with the paper clip.
 Also, I have my daily personal care routine which, since looking at it on A5 paper, it’s a little bit sparse so I might go in and edit it a little and add a few things. The next page in my planner is my daily cleaning master task list. The planner starts in August, but it is September and I’m glad I got this planner because I can start it off right now in September. It goes from August to July of the following year, but this is perfect for me right now.
 I have 4 months in this planner. I didn’t want this to be a chubby planner. Chubby planners are overwhelming. So, I just made it nice and slim, down to the meat of what I need.
 I have my monthly section where I have a few things planned out on the month. I also have found a way to use my mini planner accessories in this classic size. I do use my mini papers and my mini accessories in here I have a mini dashboard that separates my month and it’s perfect because it’s not bulky. 
After my month tab I have my week which I have already planned out and I can already tell you they are too many darn stickers on here. But I have my week planned out.
 I have a half sheet of notes and of a little small square of sticky notes that came with this set and it’s convenient for me. I have things planned out and written out in my planner and I think it’s cute.
 Next week I won’t be using so many stickers.  I like how it looks, cute. This planner inspired me from the way that is laid out with the colorful sections. This week’s color is purple, so on each section, there are 7 sections for 7 classes, its layout is this pretty lavender and then white and lavender.
The sidebar is my favorite because the side bar has the month at a glance at the top of left hand corner and the week is dated so I didn’t have to date it, thank God. It has a don’t forget list and it has an upcoming test list which I use a sticker to put over that for my own convenience. It also had a little Box at the bottom of the side board that says I’m feeling and this week I’m feeling excited because this planner has me excited and it came with a bookmark that says let your dreams lead the way. 
I’ve already put in a notes half page for each week of this month because I will start using the notes to do my meal planning but as of this week I just had a note paper, so I could take notes. I have four months in this planner, September, October, November and December. That keeps my planner slim. Behind the last month, which is December, I have a pocket folder with a few sticker sheets. Next, I have another mini tab divider separating the folder from of the section where I have all my notes paper. This will be my journaling section. I love to have space to write so, having a small journaling section in my classic happy planner makes me happy.