My Self love journey

I have been on a mission to improve my mental health by taking a direct approach to self care. I realized that I had to improve my reality in order to find peace with myself. In order to change my reality I had to change my mentality or mindset. That would be the most difficult part of this journey.

I always thought that I wasn’t worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of care, worthy of anything. As soon as I shifted this idea out of my head everything started to change. I started saying things to myself that totally shifted my reality. The truth that I failed to see was that I was worthy and every human is worthy of simple basic needs. It was not necessary for me to neglect myself in order to be productive or successful. I was just as important.

I went from being selfless to selfish. Let me explain. I had neglected and negated my own feelings for so long that people knew I cared more about them and what they thought of me than how I felt or thought about myself. They knew that I would go out of my way, sometimes to my own detriment, to help or please them instead of myself.

This caused me a lot of stress and I lost a lot of time and rest because of it. I missed important moments in my life because I was focused on what other people thought or felt about me.

I immediately changed this behavior by asking myself “How does this affect you?” “How will this help you?” Will this make you feel good? Will this give you peace?” As soon as I started to care more about me and my feelings people started to call me selfish. A title I was happy to take if it meant that at the end of the day I would have peace and be happy with ME.

You have to know you’re only selfish to people when they can no longer use you for their own selfish gain.

Everyone is fine with your life falling apart as long as it serves them. Protect yourself and your peace. Affirmations were number one in helping me to create a mindset that served me. I also have a gratitude journal that I try to write one thing I am grateful for everyday. You have to be your own cheerleader. You should never push or motivate anyone harder than you do yourself. Counseling also helped me to overcome a lot of stigmas that I attached to myself.

Once I made my mental space peaceful and inviting, my physical world started to follow. I was living healthier, sleeping better, stressing less, and enjoying life more. I even started to look better because it made me feel good to focus on myself which caused me to cultivate my style. My makeup, hair, clothes, even my hygiene started to reflect how much care I was putting into myself.

I don’t have any magic formula or great ancient secret for this but, I promise if you take time to focus on yourself, Your life will change dramatically. Give yourself the love and care you deserve. You are an awesome person and you deserve the best. Give it to yourself. No one will ever love or care for you more than you.

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Let’s water the flowers

Sometimes people just need to hear a kind word. The world is full of hate and unrest. It’s hard to find kindness or even courtesy. Let’s give people more of what we want.

I have always wanted to be loved and well liked. How can the universe give me something that I’m not willing to give others? My grandma used to say “ If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I’m taking that to heart this year.

I make it my intention every day to say something nice to anyone I meet. Even if it’s just a warm hello or good morning. I say it with a smile and a little enthusiasm. People love to be greeted.

I’ve also made it an intention to encourage people I see struggling. Everyone needs encouragement. Not everyone has a strong support system at home. Your kind words may be the only and last kind words that they ever hear.

Life is so short. We must help each other on this journey. We must band together and climb up this mountain called life. Please find it in your heart to be kind and encourage someone today. It will make you feel just as good as them. It’s a great cure for the blues.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

Goal setting for the new year

I know it’s a tough subject to think about right now but it’s time to set some goals for 2020. We all start out the new year with resolutions, which we break within 10 minutes of the new year. This year I’m starting with goals. I want to accomplish more in the new year besides a whole night sleep.

After carefully reviewing every aspect of my life, I have come up with carefully thought out goals and action steps to help me to reach each one. This sounds simple, but it took me a few days to sort out what I really wanted out of life and how could I get there.

I had to sort out the attainable from the totally rediculous. I have a lot of wants, all of my wants cannot be turned into attainable goals. Most of my wants were really broken down to achievable by a change in routine or habit. My real goals, had a series of steps and levels to the finished product.

I have four planners that help me to achive daily, weekly, and monthly goals. All of them are different sizes and only one system is a different type. I picked each of these planners according to what information I will be keeping track of in each. I’ll go into more detail of each in a later post.

When you get your clear vision about what you want out of life and make a plan of how you will get there, trust your judgement on what if any planner or planning system will work for you.

Here are a few pointers to help you along the way.

1. Separate your wants from your needs. Most goal setting is stumped by wants vs needs. Needs are necessary for everyday life, wants make getting your needs easier, comfortable or more efficient.

2. Be realistic about your goals. Nothing hurts worse than trying to reach an unrealistic goal. It’s like trying to go to the moon without a space ship.

3. Don’t stop with a general goal. Keep going by writing your action steps out. Then you can see your plan in action.

4. Take your time. This is your goals and your plan. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else or conform your goals based on where you should be. Plan for where you are and where You want to go and not where others want you to be.

5. You don’t have to be a superhero. Your goal are about you and only you. Don’t feel bad for that. You are not responsible for helping others achieve their goals. Don’t allow them to make you feel bad about your success.

I hope this post helps you to rock your goals this year. Go for it. Don’t let fear keep you from your dreams.

2020 The year of clear vision.

The beginning of a new decade is days away and I have strategically set up my life and my routines to serve me greatly in the new year. 2019 has shown me a lot about myself, my loved ones, my friends and my life. My elders had a saying when you were not living with your priorities in order. They would say, “When you see life, all that other stuff will change.” meaning that when you realize what’s really important, you’ll get your act together.

Well, I’m here to say, they were absolutely right. Living with a conscious mind, and an open perspective has brought me many blessings. I can finally see clear. I am finally focused on what really matters to me and now I am ready to receive whatever the universe has for me. I am ready to embrace life and all that it brings.

This year taught me a lot of hard lessons. I have suffered and prospered all in the same breath. I am ready to move on and take my lessons with me. I have aligned myself with the universe and am grateful for all that I have and all that I am going to receive.

Life has an interesting way of getting you to pay attention and be present. I’m thankful for every wakeup call. I hope that you have found a great lesson to take with you into the new year. I hope this new year brings you much joy, love, prosperity, and self awareness.

I am totally aware of myself and what my job here is. I am totally at the mercy of God and his great design for my life. I don’t know my purpose but I am well aware of my calling.

Happy new year to you all and I hope that we will be blessed to share many more together.

How to get what you really want

We all have a vision of how we want our lives. How to obtain all that we seek is a different story. Many of us feel like what we really want in life is not obtainable but the truth is that you can really have it all.

You can have your dream job. You can have your dream family. You can have your dream lifestyle. You just have to create it.

Yes, you have to create the life you want, the relationship you want, the job you want. These things take root in your mind and for some they lie dormant waiting on a miracle to happen so they can unfold. The truth is that the miracle already happened. Now you have to act.

If you’re reading this, that means that you are alive and well. You have life and breath in your body. The creator has placed your feet on this earth and you have power that you haven’t even tapped into yet.

Do you really think that a marvelous creator wouldn’t give you the power to create?

You have so much power to change and re arrange your life and your circumstances and all you have to do is ask, believe, and receive with gratitude. Every thing that you want in life is at your fingertips.

Don’t just let life happen to you, create the life you want and enjoy every moment. Speak love, joy, and prosperity into your life and watch how things start to change and turn around.

From money to peace you have the power to speak it into your life. Do what makes you happy. Love life and every minute of it and watch it love you right back.

The universe is waiting on you. Make a move and give it a nudge in the right direction.

The Hard Truth

Self Esteem is a tough issue for a lot of people. We are not mentally prepared to take a hard look at ourselves and think critically about who we are and what we represent. Our value or our worth is based upon what other people need or want from us.

What most of us have not realized yet, is that the person we see in the mirror every day is our true hero. You have the tools to change who and what you are at any point in time. You can save yourself and the direction your life is going in.

We are always waiting on something or someone to save us and the reality is that the savior is you. That idea that you have, the invention you are thinking of, even the book you want to write, all of those things are coming to you for a reason.

You have to trust that if God gives you an idea that he will certainly give you the tools to bring that idea into existence. Trust your gut and go for it. There are lessons and a blessing on the journey. All you have to do is make the first step. Jump into your future without fear or worry. There is something great waiting for you at the end.

We center our lives around other people as if our life belongs to them and not us. Who are you really living for? Are you even living at all? Do you feel like something is missing?

Make the first step to a better life and a better future. Step into your destiny with confidence and clarity. You know exactly what you have to do. Get started. Make a move and don’t look back, I know it seems scary. I know you’re afraid. Everything awesome in life happens on the other side of fear.

Take control of your life and your future. Get out there and make something happen. The universe is waiting to give you your heart’s desire.