5 Self care techniques that can help your anxiety

 

   Some anxiety can be really debilitating. I know because I am living with anxiety. Some days, just getting out of bed is a struggle. I also have clinical depression and both of these conditions together really make daily life a struggle. With two kids and a household to manage, I don’t have time to wallow in my mental setbacks. I have learned a few coping techniques and I want to share them with you so that maybe you can use these techniques to push through as well.

1.) Breathe.

  Studies have shown that the simple act of deep breathing helps to relieve anxiety. Fresh oxygen to the brain helps to give your thinking processes good fuel. Sometimes that’s all it takes. So just breathe deep and slow. Everything is going to work out for your good.

2.) Bathing and showering

  I remember when I was younger and my grandmother would say “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” Well, that’s almost true. The simple act of bathing is symbolic of “washing off the day”. It gives you a metaphorical clean slate. Just like every day is a new beginning, So goes a good shower or bath. So wash the day off and start over.

3.) Clean your personal space

  This is another “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” thing. Removing the trash, junk, and clutter around you lends itself to a feeling of having it all together. The act of removing clutter from your personal space also removes clutter from your mind. You also reap the benefits of having a clean and organized space.

4.) Journal

  There are many ways that journals helps your anxiety and mental health. Journaling is a way of weeding through your thoughts and emotions. Having them on paper gives you time to really examine what and how your anxiety is triggered, therefore helping you to cope better in those situations. Not to mention it is a great therapy tool.

5.) schedules and routines

  Having a set schedule and routine is also a great way to combat anxiety. I have routines for everything and every moment of my day is planned out including my leisure time. I know this sounds like a lot but it works for me. Having a schedule keeps me focused and having a routine keeps me on task. I know what I am supposed to be doing and when I am supposed to be doing it. I just re-center myself when I get lost. I also take advantage of decorative planning. This helps me to use my creativity as a coping mechanism.

My life is not perfect by any means but having this five techniques in place already in my life has helped me to battle anxiety and depression greatly. I hope that they can help you too. Feel free to come back and visit my blog for more tips and links to great help and advice. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss a post. Remember to live every day like there is no tomorrow.

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Getting out of the Holiday blues

For years I hated the holidays. I’ve always seen the holidays time as full of hurt, and a lot of headache. I have a huge family and I love my family very much. But over the years I’ve tended to separate myself from some of my family because of their negativity and attitudes.

This year I decided to go at the holidays alone and to my surprise I didn’t contract holiday Blues this year. I’ve been spending way more time with my kids. Who’s hilarious, by the way. My kids help to keep me grounded. Sometimes I think if I didn’t have my kids I wouldn’t be as much fun.

So this Thanksgiving, my family and I had Thanksgiving here at home. I cooked all the traditional Thanksgiving food that I love to cook for my family each year. We ate, we talked, we drank, and repeated until we all passed out for the night. I must say it was the most fun that I’ve had with my little family here, my husband, my two kids and his brother who currently lives with us.

There was no drama, no fussing, no stress. And this is how I would like every holiday to go but unfortunately I know it won’t be so, or can it be?

I’ve been working on the rest of the Holiday season and how I would like for it to go. Remember, plans will always change. Leave room for the unexpected. I have delegated certain tasks so that I’m not overwhelmed. Done is always better than perfect.

I’ve opted out of heavy decor this year. I have two little monsters that I will keep busy by letting them make the decorations (that I have strategically located online) and put up the tree. Michael’s craft store has been a real time saver for all of the decor and crafts for kids.

Finally, my menu is simple. Minimum leftovers predicted. I’ll have plenty of time to mingle and celebrate. I’ve also gotten plenty of disposable dishes and pans. Minimum cleaning predicted also. This planning didn’t take long and wasn’t complicated. Mostly clever and common sense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of all this before.

I realized that most of my stress and anxiety associated with the holidays is caused by my constant pursuit of perfection. I’ve been chasing a ghost. Perfection does not exist. I don’t have to impress my family. They could care less about the decorations or our outfits for that matter. They’re just happy to celebrate with us and that is just what the holidays are about. Family.

I wish each and every one of you a happy, safe and blessed holiday season. I hope to see you all in 2019.

Happy holidays!

Do I finally have planner of peace?

So recently I took a trip to Michael’s craft store. I was looking for a classic size happy planner and what I found was that the happy planner section was sparse. There wasn’t much to choose from and the little bit with that was there was really picked through. So, what I decided to do was go ahead and get the student planner box kit which was classic size. The box kit came with a few accessories and some paper. So, after getting the student box kit, I started to look around the section. I’ve really wanted a hard cover for a long time and they just happen to have one black classic size hardcover there. So, I went ahead and grabbed it along with the classic size hardcover. I got 2 more packs of accessories that came with a folder and some happy planner papers and I got a few more sticker books which happened to be 50% off. 

So, after getting home and looking at all my planner goodies, I was wondering to myself did I really want what I had because I was looking for something specific, but I didn’t know that what I really needed was in my hands. So, after opening everything and looking at everything all spread out on my desk, I just went to town hooking up my new Classic size Happy planner.

There are few reasons why I was so excited about it. The classic size student planner has a vertical layout, but it has 7 different sections that are color coded. This week’s color is blue, but the opposite of the sections is you white. That excited me because I’ve never seen it like that. There were no lines on the weekly pages to give me a certain domain of where I could start and stop planning and that’s what I love. I just want my days separated I don’t want the individual day separated. So, that’s what drew me to the student planner as well as the very clean fresh layout that it had. 

Right off the back I fell in love with this hard cover.

It’s a plain black hard cover and it’s a cover that I had been looking for, for a while. I just wanted something sleek and I didn’t want a chubby happy planner this time. That is what overwhelmed me with every other happy planner I had. I had been trying to live up to the expectation of social media with a thick, chubby happy planner that was too overwhelming for me. That’s what made me put down the happy planner so much.

As I opened my happy planner, I’m started off with a folder which is what I like I like a folder and by the way the cover that came on the happy planner it is removed I’m just only using the plain black hard cover for my happy planner. I’ve laid it out in a way that is convenient for me. So, I started off with a folder and of course there is 2018-2019 full calendar on 2 pages in the front, which is fine for me. Then, there’s a course contacts page and there was a classes page. I took out the page where you write down your classes because I’m not in school I don’t have any classes, so I didn’t have any need for that page.  

What I did do, on the opposite side of the 2019 calendar, was I printed the calendar for my son school. So, I could have his calendar right in the front of my planner.  I have it printed out on Happy planner paper. I’ve got so many accessory packs. I had so much paper that I was like “I have to utilize this paper” so, I printed out his schedule on a paper and I put it on the back of 2019 with the paper clip.

 Also, I have my daily personal care routine which, since looking at it on A5 paper, it’s a little bit sparse so I might go in and edit it a little and add a few things. The next page in my planner is my daily cleaning master task list. The planner starts in August, but it is September and I’m glad I got this planner because I can start it off right now in September. It goes from August to July of the following year, but this is perfect for me right now.

 I have 4 months in this planner. I didn’t want this to be a chubby planner. Chubby planners are overwhelming. So, I just made it nice and slim, down to the meat of what I need.

 I have my monthly section where I have a few things planned out on the month. I also have found a way to use my mini planner accessories in this classic size. I do use my mini papers and my mini accessories in here I have a mini dashboard that separates my month and it’s perfect because it’s not bulky. 

After my month tab I have my week which I have already planned out and I can already tell you they are too many darn stickers on here. But I have my week planned out.

 I have a half sheet of notes and of a little small square of sticky notes that came with this set and it’s convenient for me. I have things planned out and written out in my planner and I think it’s cute.

 Next week I won’t be using so many stickers.  I like how it looks, cute. This planner inspired me from the way that is laid out with the colorful sections. This week’s color is purple, so on each section, there are 7 sections for 7 classes, its layout is this pretty lavender and then white and lavender.

The sidebar is my favorite because the side bar has the month at a glance at the top of left hand corner and the week is dated so I didn’t have to date it, thank God. It has a don’t forget list and it has an upcoming test list which I use a sticker to put over that for my own convenience. It also had a little Box at the bottom of the side board that says I’m feeling and this week I’m feeling excited because this planner has me excited and it came with a bookmark that says let your dreams lead the way. 

I’ve already put in a notes half page for each week of this month because I will start using the notes to do my meal planning but as of this week I just had a note paper, so I could take notes. I have four months in this planner, September, October, November and December. That keeps my planner slim. Behind the last month, which is December, I have a pocket folder with a few sticker sheets. Next, I have another mini tab divider separating the folder from of the section where I have all my notes paper. This will be my journaling section. I love to have space to write so, having a small journaling section in my classic happy planner makes me happy.

Seeing life through someone else’s eyes

You never know how your actions affect other people until you hear exactly what you are going through from someone else’s perspective. It’s like shining a light into your own dark life.

I had a conversation with a close friend of mine and he told me a story about his ex-girlfriend. He was in love with her and she hurt him, badly. This story is common among people who have been in a relationship. The difference was that my friend was honest enough to tell me his true feelings. Feelings that he had expressed to no one before. I was touched and honored. For someone to share their innermost feelings means that they are very comfortable with trusting you and telling you this information.

The way he explained his feelings opened my eyes as to how my own husband feels about certain things in our relationship. My husband is the strong silent type. He doesn’t verbalize as much as I do. Now I feel like I have a better perspective on things from a man’s point of view. I will take the time to have a deep conversation with my husband to find out if this applies but for the most part, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that I consider his feelings.

You never know how your actions affect someone else until you hear it from someone on the outside looking in. There is a lot we can learn from each other just by listening. Not just with our eyes but with our heart.

This conversation definitely opened my eyes.

I Almost Died

With any major change in life comes some stress. The stress of change can cause us to really freak out most of the time. I know I have damn near gone crazy with all the changes in my life right now. There are a few lessons that I have learned that I think will help some of you who are also going through some type of stress or just dealing with a full plate. Most of these lessons are common sense, but most are ones you didn’t think of. Sometimes our brain is so full of other things that we aren’t really thinking clear. That brings me to my first point:

1.) Just breathe.

This change and the stress that comes with it has not killed you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this, Just take a second and breathe. Assess the situation and calm down, You will get through this. Once you stop and breathe, the fresh oxygen to your brain will help you to think more clearly.

2.) Handle the hard stuff first.

I know we like to do the easy stuff first but, doing the stuff we want to do the least first helps to clear the table for everything else. In essence, if you move the mountain you can see the valley. Get those big, hard to do tasks out of the way and you will be able to breeze through everything else.

3.) Don’t be too proud to ask for help or delegate some tasks.

You are not a superhero. You just can’t do it all by yourself. If you have extra hands that can help, use them. Ask your spouse to do some of the small tasks that take time you can’t spare. Give the kids some chores and make them fun so they don’t even know they’re helping. All those friends and family that says “Call me if you need anything.” give them a ring. Even if they can’t at the moment, at least you know who you can really count on.

4.) No one is coming take away all your stress.

There are no superheros in your future. Don’t expect to be saved. No one is going to do it all for you. You have to do it yourself. No one can read your mind. You have to say that you are having a hard time and need help. You have to attack the situation head on. Face it and get it done.

5.) Self pity is a party of one.

Don’t play the victim. There are people going through more than you. After all, it could be worse. Pick your head up and keep it moving. It can only get better from here.

6.) Stop fighting change.

Like fighting the current of the Mississippi, fighting change will only make you drown. Flow with change and adapt to it. Fighting change will only make you tired. Take this opportunity to grow. It will challenge you to do better and be better.. Life is all about growth and learning. If you refuse to learn, you refuse to grow. Growth is necessary for survival.

7.) Don’t blame anyone for your stress.

It is YOUR stress. That means no one can cause it or stop it but you. You can’t control other people or other situations. You can however, control yourself and how you react to those people and those situation. Change your reaction and you could stop your stress from even occurring in the first place.

8.) Stop complaining.

No one is listening. No one likes a whiner. Complaining and being negative never helps anything. Period. Stop it now. Life and death is in the tongue. You can speak destruction and success into your life. Always be positive. No matter the situation. Rise above negativity.

9.) Put yourself in time out.

 If all else fails, step away. Give yourself some time. After all, this all begins and ends with you. There are people depending on you. You have to take care of yourself. Unhealthy body equals an unhealthy mind. Allow yourself some “me time”. Change and the stress of it can consume us. We have to unplug and unwind sometime. Schedule time for yourself, just like you schedule anything else. If it’s important, you’ll make time.

10.) Stay strong.

Faith is very important. No matter what religion you are, knowing that there is a higher power in control is comforting. Keep your faith. Prayer and meditation works wonders. Keep your head and your heart healthy.

I hope this helps someone. Let me know in the comments below.